Support Independent Satire — even $5 helps (converted from rupees, ironically)
🔥 JUST MATCHED: Bay Area reply guy matched with a Discord server he's never muted!✅ GREEN CARD UPDATE: Priority date moved by 4 days. Groom celebrates like it's independence.📜 DEGREE VERIFIED: Full-Stack Nationalism, self-certified, no bootcamp required.🧠 NEW RED FLAG: Has visited India twice since 2015, both times for a wedding — Swipe Left Immediately!✈️ RETURN TICKET STATUS: Rebooked for 'next year, for sure' — 6th consecutive rebooking, personal best.📵 FACT-CHECK REQUESTED: Forward Uncle has not responded. Forward Uncle is never available for fact-checks.💬 THREAD ALERT: 40-tweet foreign policy breakdown posted under a stranger's vacation photo.📊 LINKEDIN AUDIT: Post uses 'humbled' 4 times, 'grateful' 3 times, sources 0 times. Engagement: unaffected.🏠 GREEN CARD GURU UPDATE: Childhood bedroom redecorated a fourth time. Still hasn't booked the flight.🕐 TIMEZONE NOTICE: Debate about a 6 PM cabinet reshuffle continues at 3 AM local, undefeated.🔥 JUST MATCHED: Bay Area reply guy matched with a Discord server he's never muted!✅ GREEN CARD UPDATE: Priority date moved by 4 days. Groom celebrates like it's independence.📜 DEGREE VERIFIED: Full-Stack Nationalism, self-certified, no bootcamp required.🧠 NEW RED FLAG: Has visited India twice since 2015, both times for a wedding — Swipe Left Immediately!✈️ RETURN TICKET STATUS: Rebooked for 'next year, for sure' — 6th consecutive rebooking, personal best.📵 FACT-CHECK REQUESTED: Forward Uncle has not responded. Forward Uncle is never available for fact-checks.💬 THREAD ALERT: 40-tweet foreign policy breakdown posted under a stranger's vacation photo.📊 LINKEDIN AUDIT: Post uses 'humbled' 4 times, 'grateful' 3 times, sources 0 times. Engagement: unaffected.🏠 GREEN CARD GURU UPDATE: Childhood bedroom redecorated a fourth time. Still hasn't booked the flight.🕐 TIMEZONE NOTICE: Debate about a 6 PM cabinet reshuffle continues at 3 AM local, undefeated.
Our Story
About DateAnNRIBhakt.com
Started as a reply thread. Became a registry. Legally, still just a reply thread.
What We Stand For, This Quarter
Radical Transparency
We tell you exactly what we want you to know, in exactly the order the chronology requires, from exactly one time zone away.
Unconditional Loyalty
To whichever narrative is trending this fiscal quarter, in whichever language performs best on LinkedIn.
Community First
Specifically, the part of the community that agrees with us. The rest is muted, lovingly.
Desh Bhakti by Default
Every profile pre-verified for patriotism, delivered entirely on schedule with the local timezone.
Our History, Told Chronologically
2016
Founded as a single reply-guy thread under a cabinet minister's post, from a Bay Area apartment.
2018
Achieved profitability entirely through forwarded blessings and zero actual revenue.
2019
Launched our first 'Onsite Verified' badge, retroactively applied to every profile that owns a return ticket.
2021
Survived our first 'have you actually been back recently' comment by rebranding it as 'organic engagement.'
2023
Onboarded our millionth groom. Still zero brides. Still calling it a matrimonial platform.
2026
Opened the Anonymous Remittance Outlet, because vertical integration is a family value, remotely.
Leadership (Titles Verified, Identities Withheld, All Remote)
Chief Chronology Officer
Explains all company history strictly in the correct, non-negotiable order, unread by most.
VP of Selective Memory
Remembers every promise to move back. Forgets every year it didn't happen.
Head of Reply Operations
Personally reviews every 3 AM IST comment for maximum unsolicited impact.
Director of Absolutely Verified Facts
Facts pending verification are simply forwarded anyway.
Want to join the registry?
Membership is instant. Loyalty is expected. Return date is optional.