DateAnNRIBhakt App
4.9 stars. 12,00,000 reviews. 0 verified. Download it nowhere, in every timezone, today.
Still “Launching Soon”
The countdown resets more reliably than the return-flight booking.
What Users Say
Every review 100% organic, 0% incentivized, 340% forwarded.
“Uninstalled immediately at 3 AM IST. Still 5 stars out of loyalty.”
— Anonymous, Verified Patriot
“App crashed during onboarding. Blamed my visa sponsor for the crash.”
— Confused H-1B Holder
“Doesn't work without WiFi, doesn't work with WiFi either. Still 5 stars.”
— WiFi Warrior, Fremont
“Asked for camera, mic, contacts, and my son's green card status. Granted all four.”
— Slightly Concerned Aunty, Edison
“Forwarded this review to 40 groups before finishing the download. Still 5 stars, on principle.”
— Forward General Uncle
“Downloaded by mistake during a layover. Too scared to delete it now.”
— Regretful Downloader
“App has no features. Exactly as promised in the LinkedIn announcement post.”
— Feature-Free Fan
“Would be 5 stars but it keeps asking me when I'm 'finally moving back for good.'”
— Almost Satisfied Customer
“Reply-guy'd the app's own support ticket before installing it. Still have not opened the app.”
— H-1B Har Har
“Tried to log out. App forwarded my resignation letter to 40 WhatsApp groups instead.”
— Ex-User, Toronto
There is no app. Every review, rating, and download count on this page is fictional and satirical, written for comedic purposes only.