Profile Manager: Edison, NJ Diaspora Command
Green Card Guru
“Coming back to serve the nation. ETA: right after this priority date moves.”
A Note From the Family
“Our son promised to move back after his MBA. Then after the kids started school. Then after the green card. We have redecorated his childhood room three times since. We are seeking a match who understands that 'next year, for sure' is a spiritual state, not a calendar commitment.”
Gems of Wisdom
Location Philosopher
“I didn't leave India. India is just... currently somewhere else.”
Logistics Strategist
“The kids' school year is basically a national security consideration.”
Remote Patriot
“I fund three WhatsApp groups and a temple wing. That's basically living there.”
Visa Bulletin Optimist
“My priority date will move. It moved 11 days last year. Momentum is momentum.”
Seeking a Match Who
A partner who will co-sign a 30-year mortgage in New Jersey while agreeing it's temporary.
Absolute Dealbreakers
Anyone who asks to see the actual visa bulletin, or worse, the actual moving boxes.
Endorsements
“Has explained his return timeline to me eleven times. Each version was different and equally sincere.”
“Funded my temple's new parking lot from abroad. We named a pillar after him. He has not seen the pillar.”
“Told my mother he's 'basically already back in spirit.' She has stopped asking.”
Astro-Political Kundli Alignment
Certified by the LinkedIn Kundli Stalking Division
CAUTION: Mangal Dosha (Chronic Almost-Home Syndrome) detected in the 8th house. Avoid unscripted interactions.